We’ve dealt at length elsewhere on this site with the way in which nutrition, exercise, and sleep impact mood. In this section, we’re going to focus in on emotions from a psychological, rather than physiological/biochemical perspective. If you’re looking for more in the way of lifestyle tips,  check out Food and Mood, Healthy Mind, Healthy Body, Emotions and the Body, and The Pillars of Health. Of course, ultimately, our emotional health rests on more than just biochemistry, and true happiness is all but impossible without genuine self understanding.

Maximizing Emotion Health Principles:

1. Own Your Past

Buddha said “The key to health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, worry about the future, or anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly”. For the most part we think this is great advice. But all of us need to recognize that who we are as emotional beings is powerfully conditioned by our past experience – especially our early development – in ways that we often aren’t aware of. Our personality, our way of relating to others, and our goals and ambitions are invariably shaped by our self image, and our self image is almost entirely a product of the major relationships of our early development – primarily our relationship with our parents, and, secondarily, our relationships with teachers and peers.  Any dysfunction in these relationships tends to injure our self image and self esteem, and we bear the legacy of these injuries into adulthood.

The ways in which less than optimal relationships with parents (and teachers and peers) affect our self image are somewhat consistent.  Parents who fail to validate children often raise kids who constantly feel inadequate and are driven to prove themselves to everyone. Parents who never show their children love frequently have kids who find it hard to love themselves, and who have trouble believing that real love is possible. These people find it hard to maintain normal romantic relationships.

Of course these trends are far from absolute, but no one can escape the fact that the relationships of their early childhood bear decisive influence on who they are as adults. But this doesn’t mean that we are all doomed to be nothing more than products of our early experience. If you can come to understand the way in which your interactions with parents, teachers, and friends have shaped your self image and self esteem, you can take control of your self image and emotional reality. This is not an easy process. It requires revisiting areas of one’s past that are likely fraught with pain. A skilled therapist can be a wonderful asset for this, but not everyone has that option.  If therapy isn’t something you can manage, there are some things you can do yourself to reconcile your childhood experiences and begin taking control of your self image and emotions.